Okay. I’m going to let you in on a badly kept secret. In addition to working on this blog, and the zygote of a novel you’ve all been told about, I’m also writing a children’s picture book. Why? Probably because I think I can finish one pretty quickly… although that remains to be seen.
I’m driving along 287 today (where I get many of my most subversive ideas), and something popped into my mind.
Do you remember trying to learn a foreign language in high school? I remember speaking three, maybe four words of French, and being encouraged by some poor misguided nun to read all 600 pages of Le Rouge et Le Noir. Meanwhile, the Spanish students, who could barely handle “hola, Viejo,” were trying to read Don Quixote and La Numancia.
Even then, I wondered, “why don’t they start us out with children’s books?” I was pretty damned certain we could master “Vois a Spot courir!” or some such garbage a hell of a lot more easily than the elegant subtleties attributed to Monsieur Stendhal (I never did get what he was talking about).
Then, today as I was driving, a parallel thought popped into mind. Why don’t they have picture books for adults in literacy classes who are trying to learn how to read, or for people taking ESL courses, that are as easy to master as children’s books, but that address the interests of people who’ve already grown up?
And I came up with my next title: “Bill Goes for a Brew.”
This is Bill.
Bill wants a beer.
Bill’s wife is home, and she’ll nag if he starts drinking.
Then Bill says to himself,
There’s a bar at the corner.
I can have a beer with my buddies.
I can order my beer from the busty waitress.
She really has big boobies.
But what can I say to my wife?
What excuse can I use tonight?”
What do you think, gentle readers? Shall I flesh out this concept? Do you think there’s a commercial need for something like this?