If you want to enjoy your experienced years, don’t be jaded. Allow the world to astonish you!
Open your eyes to the light of each day and rejoice… it’s been more than two hours since you last got up to pee, and you’ve lived long enough to see an actual morning.
Run to the bathroom and do your business, then look into the mirror and smile. In His kindness, God has blurred your eyesight enough that you don’t see an old bat sitting on the can, precariously perched on a bowl that was designed to seat a much smaller person.
Put on your glasses, step on the scale and be amazed at the numbers which appear before you. You’ve not only reached your goal weight, you’ve doubled it! Without making the slightest effort, you’ve become as big as a cow, and wide as a barn, as fat as a whale, and yet you’ve outlived a number of slim, elegant, diligently exercised friends who’ve gone on to their rewards.
Poor angels, they were probably rewarded with three lettuce leaves and a carrot.
You, my chunky friend, get to enjoy a big, bold bagel and a creamy, sugary cup of coffee. Savor it slowly and be thankful for Metformin, which keeps that sugar from rushing to your toes and rotting them right off your feet.
Thrill to the lack of discipline which allows you to leave your breakfast dishes unwashed as you sidle into the living room, and sink into a couch that is so overstuffed that it traps you. You will find a TV remote in the cushions; let yourself be dazzled by the technology that delivers hundreds of channels of garbage right to your home.
Isn’t it astonishing how the content will make its way to your eyes, but not make the trip to your brain?
Select a station that’s neither too boisterous nor too busy, and let it lull you into a long, lazy nap… possibly the deepest and most satisfying sleep you’ll experience in the course of twenty-four hours.
When you wake up, you won’t know if it’s day or night, but you’ll know enough to feel guilty, because at this point in your life, you’re sleeping more than a cat. Let yourself absorb the shock of learning it is now mid-afternoon, and let yourself be overwhelmed with enough guilt to start cooking some kind of dinner.
Rejoice to your sense of timing, which gives you just enough time to bathe and get dressed before dinner is ready and your hubby gets home. Be grateful he’s so tired and hungry that whatever you cooked will seem like Cordon Bleu, and so tired of dealing with demanding, cranky, bossy people all day he’ll consider your company a real treat.
Follow him into the living room after dinner, and bask in the joy of sitting silently with him for a few hours as Benson and Stabler clean up the streets of Manhattan. Isn’t it wonderful to live in an age when we can watch Law and Order at every hour of the day or night?
Best of all, bask in the joy of knowing that the intimacy of your relationship has crossed beyond words and beyond actions. You no longer need to entertain each other or worry about providing scintillating companionship. You can simply be… and being is plenty. Being is all.
When you go to bed, promise to retain that sense of wonderment. It will stand you in good stead if, once again, you make it to morning. If you don’t, then I suppose astonishment will come naturally; those who’ve crossed the border and come back say what lies ahead is truly remarkable.
I’m thankful for all of it.