I need to talk about you

But you’re the only one here.

I need to speak with someone who’s lucid, resourceful

With someone who’s not hiding the deeds

Committed because reason is receding,

And self control is lacking.

I need to tell someone

As strong as you were

That your body is weak and your will is capricious

That your temper is fierce

While your need for affection and protection —

What the Spanish call “Amparo,”

Is stronger than it’s ever been.

I need to know what I should do.

I need to make decisions I’ve never had to make alone

And I need to make them without the input of our children,

who are also scared,

And don’t understand

The need to preserve some dignity in these lives

That we won’t live forever.

I guess I need to pray

But what should I pray God to do?

Should I pray for youth that He won’t return?

For health we’ve thrown away?

For you to become submissive

Or me to become dismissive

Or both to be locked away

Where your lack of awareness and my lack of decisive power

Won’t put you in peril or drown me in fear?

I need to speak with someone

The words I cannot say.

And you, who always understood the words I left unspoken

Have moved into a realm

Where thoughts and norms don’t matter.

2 thoughts on “Unspoken

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