Pancreatic cancer

Mami had that.

You describe your illness and your pain, and I think to myself,

“Mami had that.”

I wonder whether I could go see you, without saying at once,

“Mami had that,”

Without recalling how that beautiful woman withered, and how she hid her fear of death, seeking assurance that we’d be sustained.

But no.

Mami had that.

It killed her.

And now I feel that I should visit you, and pray with you, and urge you to have hope, when all I want to scream is,

MAMI HAD THAT!!!

I doubt I can console, when decades later, the wound is still so raw.

Mami had that,

And part of me envies you for going where she’s gone, and I’ve not been called to go.

Boilerplate

Roses are red

Well, not all of them.

I like peach ones

And yellows.

Violets are blue

Not like the sky, though.

Would you say periwinkle?

Or slate?

Boilerplate poetry

With 3rd lines that don’t rhyme

Although I guess they can.

No rules.

One should eschew.

Oh, that word is so pretentious.

Does it belong in a piece of doggerel?

Well, now it does.

Help!

Help!

She screams.

Help!

One word.

Help!

Every few seconds.

Help!

And loud.

Help!

So piercing.

Help!

No one responds.

Help!

She can’t keep going!

Help!

She doesn’t stop.

Help!

“Shut up,” I whisper.

Help!

“Shut up!” He cries.

Help!

He winces.

Help!

He needs to sleep.

Help!

I call the nurse.

Help!

She knows.

Help!

Nothing to be done.

Help!

“Brain cancer,” she explains.

Help!

She has her needs.

Help!

But what of the others?

Help!

Many are deaf.

Help!

But my man can hear.

Help!

And the torture goes on.

Help!

I’m shaking with fury.

Help!

Yet what can I do?

Help!

I long to scream out.

Help!

Rehab

The alarms have paused

The screams have died down

The lunch trays have been removed

And the staff is hidden away.

As I watch you sleep

I long to straighten your crumpled frame

But I’ve neither the strength to move you

Nor the will to disturb the sleep

Which I hope will heal you.

***

You grew old with me.

The best that was yet to be

Has stolen away.

Ozempic

I’ve found a wondrous little drug

Because I’m diabetic

That has a glorious side effect:

It’s highly dietetic!

I take it only once a week

And hunger goes away

Soon all my fat will disappear.

I’ll look like a sharpei.

Painter of Kitsch

I produce kitsch.

I know that sounds like a bad thing, but in a documentary about Thomas Kincaid, the self-appointed “painter of light,” someone defined kitsch in a way that changed my attitude towards the word.

Kitsch is an attempt at art which does not challenge the viewer/listener and draws out an immediate and uncomplicated emotion, like sadness, pity, or conversely, happiness.

My paintings are pure kitsch.

I draw and paint people. You don’t have to guess what they are, because they’re usually in proportion, flesh-colored, and devoid of innovative features like third eyes and square breasts.

They’re usually smiling, too, and often interacting with animals.

Go ahead. Shake your head.

I like “painterly” works, but I’m not good at producing images in bumpy, gooey paint or deconstructed shapes. Have I tried? Yeah. There’s a purple self portrait and a green depiction of my husband sitting in a box somewhere in a hall closet. They don’t evoke cries of “awww…” but people have been known to ask me “WTF” when seeing them.

Can you imagine the chutzpah of a Jackson Pollock when he first presented the public with a canvas full of paint splatters? Or a Mark Rothko, charging oodles of money for pictures of big brown rectangles?

Betcha the uppermost question in their minds was not “Is it pretty?”

There’s a magnificent contemporary painter, Cesar Santos (a Cuban!), who used to paint breathtakingly beautiful portraits. Caravaggio would have been proud of his pictures. He has moved on, and is now painting abstract shapes as brilliantly crafted and detailed as any Renaissance figure.

You know what I asked when I first saw them?

WTF.

I’ll never have the imagination to make that kind of leap.

My work will never be challenging… or important. Galleries will never clamor for the newest Pikarskys, and Sotheby’s will never raise the gavel to auction what I produce.

In a way, it makes me sad…

But not enough to change my oeuvre.